Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry tifflynn29 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(204): View more from Manitoba

It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.

Fav 8 4212 846
share tweet
(409): View more from Texas

We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus

(1-409): View more from Texas

How are you texting me from 1998?

Fav 27 9141 1641
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.

Fav 11 3608 1240
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future

Fav 5 2402 1200
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.

Fav 7 1617 1017
share tweet
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

Fav 13 3773 1603
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.

Fav 0 1736 846
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.

Fav 4 841 512
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.

Fav 0 43 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT