I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
