I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
