I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
