its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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