Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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