He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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