honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
