It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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