Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
