do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize