i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
