she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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