do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize