i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
