Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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