Will you blow on my dice?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
