Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
