Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
