Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
