please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
