If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I got her a Nickelback box set.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
