My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
