just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
