Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
