It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
