Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
