Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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