we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
