Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
