Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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