i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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