I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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