i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
