I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
