I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
