I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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