That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
