mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize