it wasn't lemon gatorade
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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