You work out of a Hotel?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
