I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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