My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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