Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
