he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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