Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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