We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
