she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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