I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
