Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize