he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
