yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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