yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
