I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize