If that was your dad, he is hot
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dignity is for republicans.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
