My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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