Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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