you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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