I think my vagina is haunted
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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