If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
