Duck Duck Cougar?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
