There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.