The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...