I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.