so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.